09 Apr Core Values in Work & Life
Overworking is one of those habits that’s easy to justify- especially when you genuinely love your work.
“I’m just busy.” “There’s a lot going on right now.” “It’s only temporary.” Sound familiar?
I’ve said all of those things myself. And at times, they were true. But I’ve also come to learn that overworking isn’t always about workload. More often than not, it’s a sign of something deeper going on- something we might not even be fully aware of.
When Love for the Work Becomes a Habit That Hurts
Early in my career, I fell into the pattern of working after hours. It started with necessity- a big project here, a deadline there. But gradually, it became a habit. A default. It felt productive. It felt rewarding. And it helped me feel in control.
Charles Duhigg’s brilliant book, The Power of Habit, explains how habits form in the brain as neural pathways- and the more we repeat a behaviour, the deeper that pathway becomes. You don’t really “break” a habit, he says. You just weaken one pathway and strengthen another.
That really landed with me. Because it explains why we can be “on track” with healthy habits- exercise, rest, eating well- and then slip back into old patterns when life gets busy, dark, or stressful. It’s not a lack of willpower. It’s how the brain works.
And overworking, for many of us, becomes one of those deeply ingrained habits.
What Are We Really Getting From Overworking?
This is a question I’ve had to ask myself- and one I often explore with clients in coaching sessions:
- “What am I getting from this behaviour?”
- “What might it be helping me avoid?”
- That’s where the real insight often lives.
Sometimes, overworking offers a convenient escape- from a difficult relationship, loneliness, the mundanity of daily life. It gives us a sense of purpose, structure, and achievement. We feel productive. In control. Valued.
And for results-driven people like me, that little dopamine hit from ticking off the to-do list is a powerful reward. But here’s the thing: if we keep chasing those hits without rest, reflection or connection, we burn out.
The Ebb and Flow of Healthy Work
There are, of course, times when extra hours are truly needed- big projects, crunch periods, or times of change. But work, like nature, should have an ebb and flow. After a storm, there should be calm. After a sprint, a rest.
When that rhythm disappears- when there’s only torrent, no stream- we disconnect from ourselves. We ignore the signs. And eventually, we crash.
I’ve been there. My experience of burnout was one of the most challenging chapters of my life. It stripped away my energy, health, and even my sense of self. I didn’t feel like “me” anymore. And the hardest part? The work I had poured myself into didn’t come to rescue me. The people who loved me did.
That experience changed me. It gave me a deep respect for the importance of rest, and the courage to say “no”- even to myself. Especially to myself.
And yes, I’ve still veered close to the edge now and then (the pandemic years tested all of us), but I now recognise the signs and can make a conscious shift back. That’s the real power of awareness.
Learning to Rest Without Needing a Reason
For those of us who are wired for output, it can feel strange to do something just because it feels good- a walk with no destination, a slow lunch, an afternoon without plans. But rest is not indulgent. It’s intelligent. It’s a sign that we value our minds and our bodies enough to give them what they need.
When we rest, we allow the brain to process, reset, and refuel. We make space for creativity and clarity. We demonstrate to ourselves- and others- that we matter, even when we’re not producing.
And in doing that, we create the conditions not only to feel better, but to work and lead better. We move from surviving to thriving. From burnout to balance. From pressure to flow.
Try This: A Gentle Check-In
Ask yourself:
- What am I really getting from my current work habits?
- What might I be avoiding?
- Where could I allow more ebb, more breath, more space?
Remember, you’re not a machine. You’re a human being- deserving of rest, connection, and ease.
Final Thought
There’s nothing noble about burnout. The world needs your best- not your busiest. And your best comes when you give yourself permission to pause. You are worth the break.